The biggest problem with this story is that the ending is far too abrupt. There’s no clue whatsoever what happened between these two to lead to this ending. That said, I do like some of the descriptions, and I think the dialogue between the two characters flows well.
Warning: There is some violence in the text below.
“I’ve never done this before.” Freddie dropped another shovelful of top soil into the grave.
“Yeah, I’m a pro.” Jason retorted as he shook his head and rolled his eyes.
“Don’t do that.”
“Talk to me like I’m stupid. I just thought you seemed calmer about it than me.” Blood dripped viscously down the handle of Freddie’s shovel as he propped it up in the dirt, leaning on it.
Jason let out a derisive laugh and patted the dirt smooth. “If you’re going to freak out then I need to be the calm one.” He rolled his shoulders back with a grunt and stood up straight. “We better hurry up, sun’s almost up. Got at least half a dozen more.”
“Do you really think this will work?” A fetid smell settled at the tree line, where both men stood beside a burgundy pickup. “Burying them. No one will find out, right?”
A soft scratching sound issued from the bed of the truck. He smiled to his brother and stepped closer, peering over the edge. “Must have just been a field mouse or something. Don’t worry. No one will find out.”
“You’re a good brother, Jason.” Freddie yanked his shovel out of the dirt. His arm swung in a tight arc. The metal spade bounced off of Jason’s head and sounded like a cracked bell. “I always hated admitting you were right because you were smarter than me.”
Jason crumpled beside the truck. His left arm twitched.
Freddie dropped his shovel. “Until tonight.” He grabbed Jason’s shoulders and spread him out. Balancing with his arms out to each side, he carefully paced out Jason’s height. Retrieving his shovel, Freddie began to dig a new hole, five feet and eight inches long.